This time around, D-FenS (portrayed here by actor Luke Goss) has lost his corner office to the financial crisis, his 401k has evaporated and his house is in negative equity. And the burger joint still doesn’t serve breakfast after 11:30am

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As the Wall Street meltdown has taught us, appearance is one thing – but you ignore the numbers underneath at your own peril. This assortment of this year’s accessories have solid math behind them.

And it’s that cute new guy in emerging market micro-credit slum mortgage derivatives. How can I let him know that there’s nothing personal about it, that the markets are going crazy, and that I wouldn’t be averse to meeting up once he finds a new job? I have a few ideas...